That Time The Veetans Defeated The Tesskans Forever 05/15

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Transcript

• That Time THE VEETANS Defeated the Tesskans FOREVER!
• written by ryan north
• illustrated by tony cliff
• 5/15

• Kari: I don't see how a broken Drive ship could help us win a war.
• Nat: Oh there wasn't a war yet! This is all before that. We were just trying to figure out how it worked! It was parked to a secret location for study.
• [sign reads "So garbage junk trash"]
• Nat: The scientists knew humans had been studying the Drive for centuries and hadn't made any progress, but come on. Those are humans. Their bodies are literally covered in hair...
• [sign reads "Science Authority"]
• Science Veetan: ... And it took them 2000 years to invent emoji. Emoji.
  I'm pretty sure we can do better.
• [board reads "Drive reverse engineerin[g]
  Humans = big dummos.
  Veetans = Cool and good.
• Nat: But after almost a year of frustrating, fruitless study, all the scientists could conclude was...
• [board reads "Drive reverse engineerin[g]
  Humans = big dummos. Not so bad?
  Veetans = Cool and good.
• Science Veetan: ...Drives: pretty friggin' hard, actually?
• Science Veetan: All those in favour of changing the science authority's immediate goal from uncovering the secrets of the Drive to making delicious and more importantly achievable cakes instead raise your--
• Shouting Veetan: The Tesskans! They destroyed Orto! And the politics authority has declared a state of war!
• Science Veetan: You must've misunderstood. We're pacifists. We don't do war.
• Shouting Veetan: We do now! And all ships are required in the war effort, including this one. We've got one week to get the Drive figured out and the ship spaceworthy!
• [a "War and" banner is added to the "Science Authority" sign]
• Science Veetan: Man, I knew I should've been suspicious when I saw the order for that giant banner.

• Tales of the Drive
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Trivia

• The Veetan in panel 3 has only partial knowledge about human history. It took us substantially more than 2000 years to invent emojis.
• This is the first appearance of the nameless shouting and science Veetan.